Kids (8-12) Karate Kid Party: Flyers & Permission Slips

What’s up? Scott Shoen here, just checking in about our Karate Kid Party. The Flyer and Permission Slips for the Party are due by 8/5. Or call 330-562-1124 to register and bring the permission slips in the day of the party. There are only 40 spots available and they are filling up fast.

Here is the link: http://www.mediafire.com/?mx8gcwvg7hgggzo

P.S. We will have a great post on protecting your children during sports on our blog this Wednesday. Check back then.

Kids (8-12) - Karate Kid Party Details Released

Ways to Burglar Proof your House

Ways to Burglar Proof your House

In this Post:

• THE MIND OF A CRIMINAL
• WORK FROM THE OUTSIDE IN
• PRACTICE GOOD HABITS
• GET ORGANIZED

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• The Mind of a Criminal

1. Walk or drive slowly by your house and look at the exterior.
2. Look at every aspect of your home from an outsider’s point of view and look for weaknesses that might tempt a criminal.

• Work from the Outside In

Some of the best deterrents for thieves are found on the exterior of your home:

1. Start by evaluating your landscaping.
2. Arrange easy lines of sight into your yard for neighbours and consider a chain link fence instead of a solid wood one, which can provide the perfect cover for a thief to work undetected. Overgrown landscaping is an invitation to criminals and provides them with the perfect place to hide.
   Utilize the 3ft./6ft. rule when planting trees and shrubs.
3. Trim tree branches up to six feet off the ground and shrubs down to three feet. This creates a “window effect” in your yard and minimizes hiding places for burglars.
4. Another easy way to keep criminals at bay is to install security lighting around the exterior of your home.

• Practice good Habits

Simple ways to make your life and your home more secure include:

1. Asking for identification before talking to a stranger at your door.
2. Locking windows and doors every night.
3. Supervising construction or repair people who come to your home.

• Get Organized

1. Organize a block club of neighbors who will agree to keep an eye on each other’s property and call 911 if they see suspicious activity. Having other people who can serve as your eyes and ears when you’re not around is one of the most effective ways to keep criminals away.

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Martial Arts Aurora Kids

Two New Students

Congrats to our two newest white belts. Login and Ashylnn Koeppe. See you in your first class for our 8 to 12 year olds this week. Students feel free to leave a message and say "Hi".
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Quick Memorization Tip

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How NOT to Help your Child get Motivated to do what's Right

 (Skip this if you want to get to the good stuff.)

1. Checklists and Goals are good but not enough. Checklists and Goals are like your goal to lose 10 lbs it helps but your not always excited about going on a diet. If you have projects at work you might not be always excited about completing them. If you have laundry to do you might not always be excited to do that either.

2. Rewards help but they won't work all the time. John be good for two weeks by cleaning your room and you will get a new toy. This type of reward might work, but not all the time. The older your children get the less they will motivate these rewards.

3. Punishments work some of the time. Usually we have to keep increasing the punishment to get the results we want. This is not motivational and it is too stressful on parents and children.

Let me give an example of a video game that worked based on the three previous ideas.

A. You start on level 1. Each ball destroyed gives you 10 points. Two get to level 2 you must get 100 points. To get to Level three 200 points on this level for a total of 300 points. To get to level four maybe 400 points. (Idea 1)

B. Each level you pass you are rewarded with a gold star, or some other color star. You know the rewards ahead of time. (Idea 2)

C. You die if you fall in a pit and must start over with zero points at the beginning of the level. (Idea 3)

You can see this game would get boring after a short while.

 How to Help your Child get Motivated to do what's Right

 (The good stuff!)

1. Use Checklists and Goals.

2. Have a reward that is small but your child knows they will get. For example a star or a small toy at the end of some time period like a week or month.

3. Skip punishments unless a rule or promise is broken. Don't make new behaviors promises. It's too hard to get everything right the fist time. That is not how people learn and grow. 

If you have a rule that bedtime is 8 o'clock then if it is 8:01 physically help them to bed without saying a word. Here a rule is broken and the punishment is that you helped them to bed and they didn't get to go on own their own like a black belt leader. If it is a new rule, look at it as a behavior you would like to instill and not a rule until you get them to the point of success.

Avoid strongly escalating punishments to get behavior. This makes the punishment not fit the crime and makes it hard on everyone.

4. Focus your attention solely on the positive behavior and ignore the failures to reach goals. Not the failures to keep the rules and promises just the failures to reach new goals or steps in the process. Keep the attitude that, "It is only a matter of time until they reach the goal, even if I don't see progress right now."  Basically you are just resetting the due date for the goal when they make a mistake. If we focus on the two steps forward and not the one step back we will help them to make their best effort again and again until they reach the goal. Behavior is a skill just like playing the piano.

5.  Here is the secret that is going to really change things up. Have the small rewards know and make a big deal out of them. Then have rewards that are random and keep them a secret! 

For example lets say that your son gets a star each day he does well in school and every two weeks he gets a small toy. But you have set up some random rewards that he doesn't know about. Some are small like stickers or extra privileges. Others are medium or big and they happen at random times and are randomly big or small. 

When it is time to award these random secert awards say something like, "John you have been doing so well at school and I am really pleased with your effort and attitude." Not just progress, kids get frustred with their failures and mistakes too. If you focus only on progress they will think no progress means they are not going to reach their goals and they should give up. Remember the idea of water building behind a dam. You don't know the dam is going to break until the last second. 

Next ask, "Do you think you can do even better? (Most kids say, "Yes" but if they say "No" go with "Well, I think you can and that is why...") "Me too. That is why you are getting a toy, or trip to the zoo, or what ever today!" If they want to know why or when they could earn another reward, tell them it will be when you impress me again like today. 

Just remember it is really all random. Don't make these reward progressive in size or in length of time to earn the reward or it will ruin the random effect. These rewards work with adults and older children too because they don't know when or how they will happen. It is addictive in a positive way because you are always wondering when and what the next reward will be. At the same time you know you will get some positive feed back and reward for you efforts no matter what. Use dice or a computer to make sure the times and rewards are really random. You can even make a list of 30 rewards and randomly pick 10. This way it always keeps things new and you never really know what is going to happening.

Here are some notes for parents. 

A. Remember the goal of any new skill or behavior is to improve who we are as a person not what we have accomplished or can do. Everything we do and or gain in our life will be gone from us the day we die and from the earth in a couple of thousand years at most. It is only who we become as a result of the failure and difficulties in trying to do what is right that will remain in the end. 

B. The best reward that everyone really wants is to be loved. Always do everything out of a deep love for your children. Show this with you kind and patient attitude that is not surprised at failure or even the breaking of rules and promises, but that rejoices at every small act of kindness or good because we know that it is done out of love. How can you not reward love with love. My one instructor, Joe Hayes, would always say, "If you don't do it with heart then it isn't worth anything." He an Italian Dad, so that is pretty much as straight as it gets. 

May all of us parents and kids be blessed and know that just trying to do any one of the things above will be helpful.

Sensei Scott Shoen

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