Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Aurora MMA Training

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Mixed Martial Arts in Aurora

Mixed Martial Arts in Aurora

MMA Fight Night Pictures and Stories...
Happy Thanksgiving to all our Students, Families, and Friends!


In this Post:
  • NEWS & EVENTS
Important_news
  • Academy T-Shirts - We are almost out of T-Shirts so please make sure to if you are interested. We will not be ordering anymore once we are out.
  • Graduation - Our next graduation will be 12/18th. We look forward to seeing everyone there.
  • Fight Night - What a huge turnout for fight night. We took over BW3's. Some really amazing fights especially BJ Penn vs Matt Hughes. Jab over hand cross is one of the best defense in a really street fight and it really worked in that match up and two others during the night. Also we saw the kimura finish 3 matches during the night with a behind the back variation that had not been seen before. Student got really pumped since that was one of our moves for the month. Check out this link for pictures from Fight Night. http://picasaweb.google.com/Karateisgoodforyou/FightNight2010?feat=directlink 
P.S. Thanks to Holly for making this a great night for all our students and their friends. Thanks to Sarah Case, Holly Collins, Jonah Forte, and Ken Lame for bringing buddies to Fight Night. Sure made it a blast to watch the matches together. 
 
P.P.S. Watch for the chance to work on some of the submissions we saw during the fights over the next couple of weeks in class.

  • Thanksgiving Day- Family Martial Arts will be closed Thanksgiving Thurs Nov 25th - Classes will resume as normal on Monday Nov 29th! Happy Thanksgiving to all and my deepest thanks for all of our students, families, and friends. Enjoy this wonderful weekend, I know I will.
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Thursday, November 18, 2010

MMA Aurora

Martial Arts Family...

MMA Fight Night 
Flyers & Registration Slips are available.
What’s up? Scott Shoen here, just checking in about our MMA Fight Night. The Flyer and Registration Slips are linked below. There are a limited number of spots available and they are filling up fast so be sure to registered so you aren’t left out.

Fight Night will be at Buffalo Wild Wings in Aurora at 8:30 PM. There are going to be some great matches, Rampage Vs. Machida and Hughes Vs. Penn. We will be giving out some prizes for students who bring buddies along with three free months of martial arts to one of our lucky buddies.


See you there!
Scott Shoen

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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

BJJ Aurora

In this Post:

  • NEWS & EVENTS
  • Judo's and BJJ': History and Evolution
 MMA Chicago
  • Academy Closed for Thanksgiving - The Family Martial Arts Academy will be closed Thursday November 25th.
  • New Leadership Students - Congratulations to all our new Leadership students. It is great to see so many students set their sites on Black Belt and Beyond.
Alex & Abigail Holbert
Aidan Grubb
Easton & Kaylee Christine
Deagan & Dash Katz
David Hamilton
Alex Shaffer
Way to go!

Kodokan Judo's and BJJ's History and Evolution

Kodokan Judo was founded by Mitsuyu Maeda. Maeda was one of five of Judo's top groundwork experts that Judo's founder Kano Jigoro sent overseas to demonstrate and spread his art to the world. In 1904 Maeda visited a number of countries giving "jiu-do" demonstrations and accepting challenges from boxers, wrestlers, and other martial artists before arriving to Brazil in November 1914.


Jiu-jitsu is a Do or way of life. Since its inception in 1882, its parent art of judo was separated from older systems of Japanese jujutsu by an important difference that was passed on to BJJ: it is a method for promoting physical fitness, building virtue, and, ultimately, a way of life.

These quotes from Kano Jigoro give you a feeling for the idea of Judo as a way to develop character and virtue.

"Judo is the way of the highest or most efficient use of both physical and mental energy. Through training in the attack and defence techniques of judo, the practitioner nurtures their physical and mental strength, and gradually embodies the essence of the Way of Judo. Thus, the ultimate objective of Judo discipline is to be utilized as a means to self-perfection, and thenceforth to make a positive contribution to society."

"Since the very beginning, I had been categorizing Judo into three parts, rentai-ho, shobu-ho, and shushin-ho. Rentai-ho refers to Judo as a physical exercise, while shobu-ho is Judo as a martial art. Shushin-ho is the cultivation of wisdom and virtue as well as the study and application of the principles of Judo in our daily lives. I therefore anticipated that practitioners would develop their bodies in an ideal manner, to be outstanding in matches, and also to improve their wisdom and virtue and make the spirit of Judo live in their daily lives. If we consider Judo first as a physical exercise, we should remember that our bodies should not be stiff, but free, quick and strong. We should be able to move properly in response to our opponent's unexpected attacks. We should also not forget to make full use of every opportunity during our practice to improve our wisdom and virtue. These are the ideal principles of my Judo."

"Don't think about what to do after you become strong -- I have repeatedly stressed that the ultimate goal of Judo is to perfect the self, and to make a contribution to society. In the old days, Jūjutsu practitioners focused their efforts on becoming strong, and did not give too much consideration to how they could put that strength to use. Similarly, Judo practitioners of today do not make sufficient efforts to understand the ultimate objective of Judo. Too much emphasis is placed on the process rather than the objective, and many only desire to become strong and be able to defeat their opponents. Of course, I am not negating the importance of wanting to become strong or skilled. However, it must be remembered that this is just part of the process for a greater objective... The worth of all people is dependent on how they spend their life making contributions."

Maeda first trained sumo, and after the interest generated by stories about the success of judo at contests between judo and jujutsu that were occurring at the time, he went from sumo to judo, becoming a student of Kano's Kodokan judo. He was promoted to 7th dan in Kodokan judo the day before he died in 1941.

In 1914, Maeda was given the opportunity to travel to Brazil as part of a large Japanese immigration colony. In Brazil, in the northern state of Para, he befriended Gastão Gracie who helped Maeda get established. To show his gratitude, Maeda offered to teach traditional Japanese Jiu-Jitsu to Gastão's oldest son, Carlos Gracie. Carlos learned for a few years and eventually passed his knowledge to his brothers.

At age fourteen, Helio Gracie, the youngest of the brothers moved in with his older brothers who lived and taught Jiu-Jitsu in a house in Botafogo. Following doctor’s recommendations, Helio would spend the next few years limited to only watching his brothers teach as he was naturally frail.

One day, when Helio Gracie was 16 years old, a student showed up for class when Carlos was not around. Helio, who had memorized all the techniques from watching his brothers teach, offered to start the class. When the class was over, Carlos showed up and apologized for his delay. The student asked for Helio to continue being his instructor, Helio Gracie then gradually developed Gracie Jiu Jitsu as an adaptation from Judo as he was unable to do many Judo moves. Helio now holds the rank of 6th Dan in Judo.

I find it interesting that these life long masters who are truly one out of ten thousand Judo practicianers hold ranks of 7th and 6th degree black belts. Many instructors in our humble town of Cleveland there seem to be 7th, 8th, 9th, and yes 10th degree black belts! Different systems have different ranking but these ranks for me indicate a truly unique level of dedication, skill, and virtue.





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Friday, November 5, 2010

Aurora Martial Arts

In this Post:
  • NEWS & EVENTS
  • Instructors Corner w/ Sensei Shoe
 MMA Chicago
  • Academy Closed for Thanksgiving: Victory will Be closed Thursday November 25th.
  • Leadership Training Tryouts - These students have passed with flying colors our Leadership and Black Belt Club tryouts.
Bruna Vilela
Fred Fennell
Patrick Griffith
Aidan Grubb,
Alex Holbert
Abigail Holbert
Dash Katz
Daegan Katz
Joseph Shumway
David Hamilton
Alex Shaffer

Watch for our list of new Leadership Students.

Instructor's Corner
Mis-communications and What to do about them.
By Scott Shoen 

Mis-communications develop between people so easily. We all live in our own unique worlds. Words can have different meanings; ideas and intentions can be miss understood. Here are some tips to help avoid these mis-communications.
1. Be ready to invest regular time speak and be with the other person.  Fifteen hours a week of communication is the average necessary time to maintain an exceptional marriage. This is your biggest relationship, but it gives you a feel for the effort that good communication requires. 
2. First understand what they say and make sure they agree with your understanding. 
3. Repeat back in your own words what you think they have said to you. Then make sure they agree with your understanding. Then express your side of the story.
4. Be aware of the person's voice, body language, and actions.
5. Communicate regularly and be sure to remain friends as the business of living can get in the way very easily.
6. Assume a positive intention or need behind all behaviors. This is very difficult when all appearances point to the person just being against you. Try it anyway it can work miracles.
7. Realize the longer you know someone the more likely that mis-communications will arise so be ready to talk them out and you will likely find that there was a big mis-understanding.
8. Never give up on developing good communication. It is not easy and can take many years, but it is worth it.

Pick one of these keys and try it out for three weeks. See if it makes a difference and comment below. 

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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Mixed Martial Arts Gyms in Aurora

What do you do when you make a Mistake?

I think when I started martial arts my mind was filled with everything I was doing wrong. My poor grades, bad behavior, lack of social skills, even just remembering how I had dropped my books in the school hallway. It seemed like I couldn't do anything right.

My martial arts training started to change all of that for me. Instand of all my mistakes, my mind started to be filled with all the successes I was having in class. The board I broke, the friend I made during class, how I was getting strong and faster, or what my instructor said to me about how my focus was improving.

Soon my grades were getting better, my behavior changed at home and school, and I was make more and more friends. But what had really changed was me. What I was seeing in my mind and what I believed about myself. So here are some quick tips on improving how we handle mistakes and form our self-confidence.

1. Focus on what you want not what you don't want. - I can think of many times that I would walk up to someone and say to myself, "Don't be nervous." That never worked. Now I say, "How can I help this person?".

2. Realize mistakes are the normal. - I don't spend much time thinking about or paying attention to mistakes because I know that they are normal. Instead I practice looking for improvements and then remembering them as clearly as possible. You know you have this step down when others around you can't even tell you made a mistake because you have already moved on to the next moment.

3. Mistakes are always in the past. -Mistakes are always what happened in the past. Focus on the present moment and life is much easier. Learn from mistakes, but focus on what is happening right now. One of my instructors, Richard Kim, would say, "If you make a mistake, don't make it an encore."

3. Practice a lot. - Expect to practice hundreds or thousands of times to achieve a couple of perfect experiences. The general rule of thumb is: 8 times to memorize, 1000 times to develop some skill, and 10,000 hours to achieve mastery. When I get upset that I haven't had success in some area of life I know I have rarely put in 10,000 hours of practice in that area. This helps put things in perspective.

Once you begin the journey of practicing you are going to start to see results. This is where all the hard work pays off and life gets really fun. So start today and let all those mistakes go like water off a ducks back.

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Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

MMA Training in Aurora

How to Get the Most out of your MMA Training.

1. Decide head of time to focus your mind on just one thing.
Studies show that doing only one thing at a time increases productivity by 25%. So if you regularly work an 8 hour day focusing on just one thing at a time would be like working a 10 hour day.
For example:
  • I will focus on moving just like the instructor.
  • I will have mobile, fast, and solid footwork.
  • I will use my whole body on every movement and technique.
  • I will play only defense to improve my ability to see my opponent and increase my patience when striking and going for submissions. This way I can find the best movement and timing.
2. Use a powerful question to focus and refocus you mind during class.
 Ask your self this question many times during class.
  • For Example: Am I moving exactly like my instructor? Questions work much more effectively than statements.
3. Evaluate your incremental progress for this training session using questions.
  • How did my skills improve today?
  • What will be the long term results of consistent improvement like I achieved today?
  • What did I learn today?
  • How can I use what I learned to improve my life in general? 
Let me know how these tips help your training by commenting below.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Martial Arts Instructor,
Scott Shoen

P.S. I have include a picture of my original belts coming up through the ranks. This belt rack is on display in my home office. My white belt is now 27 years old! I can't believe it and yes there were only 5 colored belts (White, Yellow, Green, Blue and Brown). My original black belt is still active for special training sessions so I don't have it on a display.
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    Friday, October 8, 2010

    Martial Arts in Aurora

    Please hit the Facebook "LIKE" button!


    In this Post:
    • NEWS & EVENTS
    • SHOUT OUTS!
    • NEW VID - Justin's Fire Break at Sensei's House

    • Congrats to all our students at what I have heard was one of our best graduations! Way to go! Watch for videos from our special award winners at this last graduation. I can't wait to hear from students and their families.
    • Bruna Vilela, & Fred Fennell were both recommended to Leadership Training. We look forward to seeing them and several other students at Leadership Tryouts.
    • We will be closed Columbus Day, Oct 11th.  
    • Bring a buddy week this coming week! Only three days this month to bring a friend and Thanks to all those who have brought friends last month. Seven people have joined our martial arts family due to your kind referrals.
    • Keep an eye out as we are in the middle of planning a special Halloween Event for our younger students and a Fight Night at BW3s to watch the next big UFC match for our adult students.

    Thank-you Thank You for Your Trust and Kind Referrals...in October so far!

     Mrs. Case, Ella & Philph Case, Brandon Burkhardt, Abigail Gray, Abigail & Alex Holbert, and all the students who have been referring to the academy. 

    Not A Fan of the FMAA Fan Page yet?

     Go now and become a fan: CLICK HERE!
    See the latest student of the month, Interviews, pictures, videos and all the latest Victory News.

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      Justin's Fire Break at Sensei's House!

      Justin Harshbarger had a private training session at Sensei's house this last summer after winning one of our toughest CIT (Certified Instructor Training) Challenges. During the training we got the great idea to do fire break out of nowhere. Please don't try this at home of course. 

      I think Justin surprised himself! Leave comments to let Justin know what you think!

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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

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      Wednesday, September 29, 2010

      Aurora Kickboxing classes

      Kickboxing and Martial Arts mastery have a unique protection device naturally installed within it. It will not expose itself to those not willing to discipline themselves to get to it's essence.

       Please hit the Facebook "LIKE" button!


      In this Post:
      • (New Video) - CARRY ON!
      • NEWS & EVENTS
       
      Seeing this story really helped me keep my daily challenges in perspective. It is safe to say that we can all learn from the courage and perseverance displayed by these two young men.

      John Gardner said,
      “Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”


      • Attention all students. Graduation is this Saturday. Thank you to all the students who have registered and we are looking forward to seeing you, your family, and friends at graduation. Cameras and Video Recorders are allowed.
      • We will be closed Columbus Day, Oct 11th.  
      • Thank you to all of the students who have brought a buddy to classes this month. Heads up that our Bring a Buddy Week will be the second week of October.
      • Keep an eye out as we are in the middle of planning a special Halloween Event.

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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

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      Monday, September 13, 2010

      MMA Aurora Graduation

      Headline: Graduation Celebration: Flyers, & Registration Forms.

      Body: What’s up? Scott Shoen here, just checking in about our Graduation. Student and Guest Registration forms are due by 9/23.  Or call 330-562-1124 to register and bring the registration forms in the day of Graduation. Registration forms must be handed in on time, as we need the information to order Belts and reserve spots for guests. There are only 30 spots available for Friends and Family and they are filling up fast.

      Graduation Flyer, & Registration Forms (http://www.mediafire.com/?0ydl7kckbtkz573)

      P.S. Our Grand Prize for bringing the most Buddies to Graduation will be lunch with Sensei for our younger students and dinner for our adult students right after classes. We will have some great pictures and videos of Graduation up on our Blog the following Wednesday. Check back then.

      Friday, September 10, 2010

      Martial Arts Graduation Aurora OH

      Graduation is Coming Soon!




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      Wednesday, September 8, 2010

      Karate Kid Aurora

      What is in this Post:
      1. Pictures from our Karate Kid Party
      2. Five Ways for Adults to Reduce Stress
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      1. Check out these Pictures from our Karate Kid Party. Just Click the link Below.
      (http://www.flickr.com/photos/42738444@N03/sets/72157624747257982/)

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      2. Five Ways for Adults to Reduce Stress
      • Getup 15 Minutes Earlier - Getting up 15 minutes earl gives you extra time to prepare for your day. You are less likely to forget things and feel rushed early in the morning when you tend not to be at your best. 
      • Prepare for Morning the Night Before - Preparing the night before this way you won't be overwhelmed by get ready in the morning.  
      • Don't rely on your memory - It is too easy to forget things so we write down everything as a task, an event on your calendar, or as referrence material that is filled away.
      • Take Breaks - Many studies have shown that you get more done when taking a 5 min break every 25 mins or a 10 min break every 50 mins. It seems like you don't have time, but it is key to working smarter not just harder. This is espically important for Adults and Children with ADHD.
      • Stock Up on Supplies - Make less trips to the store or shopping by stocking up on supplies and storing them. Make duplicate keys for cars and your house. These preventative measure leverage your current time to make the future easier.
      Look out for future posts with more stress reducing tips and comment to let us know how these work for you?

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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

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      Wednesday, August 4, 2010

      Karate Kids Aurora

      KARATE KID PARTY & HOW TO PROTECT YOU CHILD FROM DANGEROUS SPORTS

      In this Post:

      • QUICK REMINDER ABOUT KARATE KID PARTY
      • THE 5 MOST DANGEROUS ACTIVITIES FOR CHILDREN
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      QUICK REMINDER ABOUT KARATE KID PARTY

      Just a quick reminder that most of our students have registered for the Karate Kid Party and a few of you are lagging behind. Register at the link in the previous post.


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      THE 5 MOST DANGEROUS ACTIVITIES FOR CHILDREN


      1. Basketball
      Children can experience sprains and strains to their ankles and knees. These can be prevented by the following:
      • Follow a pre-season conditioning program to build muscle strength.
      • Warm up before the sports activity, including practice.
      • Listen to their bodies and never run if he or she experiences pain in the foot or ankle.
      • Replace athletic shoes when they are worn out.
      • Always wear properly fitted shoes that are tightly laced. Loose-fitting shoes allow the foot to twist from side to side.


      2. Bicycling
      Children love to bike, but this activity often causes injuries or accidents to children which can be very sever. One way to prevent such accidents is by educating them about what dangers are present during bike riding. Cars, strangers, and falling off a bike should be discussed with a plan in each case. Helmets should always be worn and are the best protection against sever injuries during bike riding.


      3. Football
      Football is such a fun game for children, but then again, it can be really risky. Kids may suffer from accidents and injuries by just playing a high impact game like football. But it can be managed on some level by wearing protective equipments. Like:
      • Helmet
      • Shoulder pads, hip pads, tail pads, knee pads
      • Pants (one piece or shell)
      • Thigh guards
      • Jersey
      • Mouth guard with a keeper strap is require
      • Athletic supporter
      • Proper shoes (individual leagues have varying requirements, so check with the coach for details)
      • If eyeglasses are worn, they should be made of non-shattering glass


      4. Soccer
      This sport can be dangerous for children. Though the ball is soft, there are many injures that can occur from doing a wrong move or running and hitting another player. Again protective equipment is a must and it should be checked and replaced regularly. Make sure your child is wearing it correctly too. Be sure the coach is teaching good fundamentals so that children can be safe. Watch for children who think they are invincible once they put on protective equipment. Injuries generally go up when children wear protective gear for the simple reason that they now go harder and are less aware because they are wearing protective gear. This should be countered by educating your child on safety and reminding them to be careful of themselves and other players.

      Before playing, children should warm up. Warm ups prevent injuries just as much as protective gear does.

      5. Baseball
      During baseball, the ball and bat are the major dangers. The ball can travel very fast and has termedous energy.  The bat is a serious weapon and can severally injure children. Make sure to wear protective equipment and have proper gear. Good coaching on the fundamentals of the game can really reduce the likelihood of injury. Teach children to stay away from the bat unless it is their turn to swing. Make sure they have the awareness to keep their eyes on the ball at all times. It can be somewhat rare that a child is hit by the ball, but when it happens it can cause serious damage. Of course helmets should be worn at all times.
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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

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      Kids (8-12) Karate Kid Party: Flyers & Permission Slips

      What’s up? Scott Shoen here, just checking in about our Karate Kid Party. The Flyer and Permission Slips for the Party are due by 8/5. Or call 330-562-1124 to register and bring the permission slips in the day of the party. There are only 40 spots available and they are filling up fast.

      Here is the link: http://www.mediafire.com/?mx8gcwvg7hgggzo

      P.S. We will have a great post on protecting your children during sports on our blog this Wednesday. Check back then.

      Friday, June 25, 2010

      Ways to Burglar Proof your House

      Ways to Burglar Proof your House

      In this Post:
      • THE MIND OF A CRIMINAL
      • WORK FROM THE OUTSIDE IN
      • PRACTICE GOOD HABITS
      • GET ORGANIZED
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      • The Mind of a Criminal
      1. Walk or drive slowly by your house and look at the exterior.
      2. Look at every aspect of your home from an outsider’s point of view and look for weaknesses that might tempt a criminal.
      • Work from the Outside In
      Some of the best deterrents for thieves are found on the exterior of your home:
      1. Start by evaluating your landscaping.
      2. Arrange easy lines of sight into your yard for neighbours and consider a chain link fence instead of a solid wood one, which can provide the perfect cover for a thief to work undetected. Overgrown landscaping is an invitation to criminals and provides them with the perfect place to hide.
        Utilize the 3ft./6ft. rule when planting trees and shrubs.
      3. Trim tree branches up to six feet off the ground and shrubs down to three feet. This creates a “window effect” in your yard and minimizes hiding places for burglars.
      4. Another easy way to keep criminals at bay is to install security lighting around the exterior of your home.
      • Practice good Habits
      Simple ways to make your life and your home more secure include:
      1. Asking for identification before talking to a stranger at your door.
      2. Locking windows and doors every night.
      3. Supervising construction or repair people who come to your home.
      • Get Organized
      1. Organize a block club of neighbors who will agree to keep an eye on each other’s property and call 911 if they see suspicious activity. Having other people who can serve as your eyes and ears when you’re not around is one of the most effective ways to keep criminals away.
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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training

      Kids Karate for Concentration

      MMA Training


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      Sunday, May 23, 2010

      MMA Training Aurora

      http://www.KarateAurora.com/MMA

      Student Spotlight


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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Tuesday, April 13, 2010

      Martial Arts Aurora Kids

      Two New Students

      Congrats to our two newest white belts. Login and Ashylnn Koeppe. See you in your first class for our 8 to 12 year olds this week. Students feel free to leave a message and say "Hi".
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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Monday, April 5, 2010

      Kickboxing Training Aurora

      Student Spotlight




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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Friday, April 2, 2010

      Kickboxing Training Aurora Women

      Student Spotlight



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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Thursday, April 1, 2010

      Kickboxing Aurora Women

      Student Spotlight



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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Wednesday, March 31, 2010

      Karate Training Aurora Kids

      Student Spotlight



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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Tuesday, March 30, 2010

      Karate Instruction Aurora Kids

      Student Spotlight


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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Monday, March 29, 2010

      Karate Classes Aurora Mom

      Mom Spotlight


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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Friday, March 26, 2010

      Karate Schools Aurora Mom

      Mom Spotlight

      http://www.KarateAurora.com/KidsClasses 
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      Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

      Martial Arts Training
      Kids Karate for Concentration
      MMA Training
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      Thursday, March 25, 2010

      Wednesday, February 10, 2010

      Karate Classes Aurora

      How NOT to Help your Child get Motivated to do what's Right
       (Skip this if you want to get to the good stuff.)

      1. Checklists and Goals are good but not enough. Checklists and Goals are like your goal to lose 10 lbs it helps but your not always excited about going on a diet. If you have projects at work you might not be always excited about completing them. If you have laundry to do you might not always be excited to do that either.

      2. Rewards help but they won't work all the time. John be good for two weeks by cleaning your room and you will get a new toy. This type of reward might work, but not all the time. The older your children get the less they will motivate these rewards.

      3. Punishments work some of the time. Usually we have to keep increasing the punishment to get the results we want. This is not motivational and it is too stressful on parents and children.

      Let me give an example of a video game that worked based on the three previous ideas.

      A. You start on level 1. Each ball destroyed gives you 10 points. Two get to level 2 you must get 100 points. To get to Level three 200 points on this level for a total of 300 points. To get to level four maybe 400 points. (Idea 1)

      B. Each level you pass you are rewarded with a gold star, or some other color star. You know the rewards ahead of time. (Idea 2)

      C. You die if you fall in a pit and must start over with zero points at the beginning of the level. (Idea 3)

      You can see this game would get boring after a short while.

       How to Help your Child get Motivated to do what's Right
       (The good stuff!)

      1. Use Checklists and Goals.

      2. Have a reward that is small but your child knows they will get. For example a star or a small toy at the end of some time period like a week or month.

      3. Skip punishments unless a rule or promise is broken. Don't make new behaviors promises. It's too hard to get everything right the fist time. That is not how people learn and grow. 

      If you have a rule that bedtime is 8 o'clock then if it is 8:01 physically help them to bed without saying a word. Here a rule is broken and the punishment is that you helped them to bed and they didn't get to go on own their own like a black belt leader. If it is a new rule, look at it as a behavior you would like to instill and not a rule until you get them to the point of success.

      Avoid strongly escalating punishments to get behavior. This makes the punishment not fit the crime and makes it hard on everyone.

      4. Focus your attention solely on the positive behavior and ignore the failures to reach goals. Not the failures to keep the rules and promises just the failures to reach new goals or steps in the process. Keep the attitude that, "It is only a matter of time until they reach the goal, even if I don't see progress right now."  Basically you are just resetting the due date for the goal when they make a mistake. If we focus on the two steps forward and not the one step back we will help them to make their best effort again and again until they reach the goal. Behavior is a skill just like playing the piano.

      5.  Here is the secret that is going to really change things up. Have the small rewards know and make a big deal out of them. Then have rewards that are random and keep them a secret

      For example lets say that your son gets a star each day he does well in school and every two weeks he gets a small toy. But you have set up some random rewards that he doesn't know about. Some are small like stickers or extra privileges. Others are medium or big and they happen at random times and are randomly big or small. 

      When it is time to award these random secert awards say something like, "John you have been doing so well at school and I am really pleased with your effort and attitude." Not just progress, kids get frustred with their failures and mistakes too. If you focus only on progress they will think no progress means they are not going to reach their goals and they should give up. Remember the idea of water building behind a dam. You don't know the dam is going to break until the last second. 

      Next ask, "Do you think you can do even better? (Most kids say, "Yes" but if they say "No" go with "Well, I think you can and that is why...") "Me too. That is why you are getting a toy, or trip to the zoo, or what ever today!" If they want to know why or when they could earn another reward, tell them it will be when you impress me again like today. 

      Just remember it is really all random. Don't make these reward progressive in size or in length of time to earn the reward or it will ruin the random effect. These rewards work with adults and older children too because they don't know when or how they will happen. It is addictive in a positive way because you are always wondering when and what the next reward will be. At the same time you know you will get some positive feed back and reward for you efforts no matter what. Use dice or a computer to make sure the times and rewards are really random. You can even make a list of 30 rewards and randomly pick 10. This way it always keeps things new and you never really know what is going to happening.

      Here are some notes for parents. 

      A. Remember the goal of any new skill or behavior is to improve who we are as a person not what we have accomplished or can do. Everything we do and or gain in our life will be gone from us the day we die and from the earth in a couple of thousand years at most. It is only who we become as a result of the failure and difficulties in trying to do what is right that will remain in the end. 

      B. The best reward that everyone really wants is to be loved. Always do everything out of a deep love for your children. Show this with you kind and patient attitude that is not surprised at failure or even the breaking of rules and promises, but that rejoices at every small act of kindness or good because we know that it is done out of love. How can you not reward love with love. My one instructor, Joe Hayes, would always say, "If you don't do it with heart then it isn't worth anything." He an Italian Dad, so that is pretty much as straight as it gets. 

      May all of us parents and kids be blessed and know that just trying to do any one of the things above will be helpful.

      Sensei Scott Shoen


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