Aurora Karate Kids OH

Feelings Part 2
In this Post:

• Upcoming Events & Updates
• Instructor's Corner - Feelings? Part 2

==============================================

I real enjoy hearing from our students and families at the school because I value friendship, sharing martial arts, and hearing from people I really care about. If you would be willing, I would love to hear from you on Facebook or on our blog. 

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Family-Martial-Arts-Academy/122601835635
==============================================
Important News:

• Congratulations Mr. Trojan - Cory Trojan our assistant instructor will be taking over our adult BBC and leadership classes starting in march. I will be working side by side with him in classes and would like to thank him for all I have learned will having the ability to watch classes as an observer. I am so pleased with the improvements that have come about because of his efforts.

==============================================

Instructor's Corner

Feelings? Part 2

By Scott Shoen

In our last post we talked about feelings and how to identify them in yourself or your child. Now to why feelings are so useful. They point to underlying needs that are either being meet or not or to
a guess that needs won't be meet or will be meet in the future.

Here are some examples.

1. I don't want to do my homework. What do you want to do? I want to play outside. Are you feeling frustrated when you think about doing your home work because you need to play? (Underlying need: Play)

2. I don't want to do my homework. What do you want to do? I want to play outside. So are you feeling frustrated when you think about doing your home work because you need to play. No. Are you feeling lonely when you think about doing home instead of playing with your friends because you need friendship? (Underlying need: Friendship)

3.  I don't want to workout today. Why. I am tried. So you are feeling tried when you think about working out because you need rest? (Underlying need: Rest)

4. I don't want to workout today. Why. I am bored. So you are feeling bored when you think about working out because you need more variety? (Underlying need: Variety)

5. I love math class. Are you feeling happy when you think about math class because you love getting better at things? (Underlying need: Competence)

6. I love math class. Are you feeling excited when you think about math class and your teacher who does lots of different class room exercises about math because you need excitement? (Underlying need: Stimulation)

For me the exciting part of finding the need(s) behind the behavior(s) and feeling(s) is that it opens up so many possible way of meeting that need. This means that when you or your child feel they want some particular strategy (no homework, skipping a workout, eating ice cream, earning a million dollars) their is an underlying need behind that strategy that could be meet in hundreds of ways. This for me makes it so much easier to help your child want to do their homework and it build the relationship between you and your child because their needs are being meet. This also brings up an
important point. Homework meets needs. If you child is not enjoying doing homework then their is some other need that is not meet that is getting in the way of experiencing how homework meets their need for learning.

I would be grateful to hear our students feedback on these posts and how they are helping you and your families either on the blog or facebook. I am so appreciative of everyone's supports.


Watch for next part going deeper into needs and understanding them.
====================================================
Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

Kickboxing Class in Aurora

Kickboxing Class in Bainbridge

MMA Training in Twinsburg OH

MMA Classes in CLEVELAND

Kids Karate Classes for Discipline

KIds Karate Aurora OH - Feelings what?

In this Post:

• Upcoming Events & Updates
• Instructor's Corner - Feelings? I don't think I have any.

==============================================

I real enjoy hearing from our students and families at the school because I value friendship, sharing martial arts, and hearing from people I really care about. If you would be willing, I would love to hear from you on Facebook or on our blog. 

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Family-Martial-Arts-Academy/122601835635
==============================================
Important News:

• Celebrate with Striping - We are celebrating this week the progress students have made in January. I am grateful and excited to see all the progress our students have made. Purple stripes will be put on belts as a reminder of student's progress. You may want to ask yourself or your child what they have improved or learned during the month. Many students say they don't know or nothing. This usually indicates they haven't taken the time to notice their progress or they feel it is so small they don't feel they should be rewarded for it by being praised. This miss the goal of being motivated not by what others say or do in response to what we do, but by what improving fulfills in us. Taking time to note your progress and how it has fulfilled you along with thinking about what you would enjoy improving over the next month or quarter will improve your intrinsic motivation. Doing this in all areas of your life connects you with why you are doing what you are doing and how you can improve. We encourage celebrating stripe testing and not rewarding or punishing yourself or students for what they have accomplished.
• Congratulations Mr. Trojan - Cory Trojan our assistant instructor has taken a month of adult basic classes. I am feel so proud of Mr. Trojan's accomplishment and deeply appreciate his contribution to the academy, our students, and to my family personally. He also taught a make up class this month and I am excited to hear your feedback on how you enjoyed the class.

==============================================

Instructor's Corner

Feelings? I don't think I have any...

By Scott Shoen

I have been training Mr. Trojan on our new teaching model. When we got to the part about using feelings to identify the underlying needs of a student he said, "Feelings? I don't think I have any...". When I hear how most people answer the question "How are you feeling today" , with a simple "good"/"bad", I almost agree with him. I'm grateful to report that after about two weeks of training Mr. Trojan came into instructor training and announced "Sensei, I think I do have feelings". I just noticed them yesterday." This really hit me as I thought about how blind I was to what I and others were feeling, before I grasped this training.


So here are some examples of feelings and needs. I have also included some that look like feelings but which include no information about how the person is feeling.

1. I am feeling really hungry. (possible need: food)
2. I feel like a chocolate bar. (no feelings, need: unknown)

3. I am feeling tired and exhausted. (possible need: rest)
4. I hate all the work I have to do. (no feelings, need: unknown)

5. I am feeling bored. (possible needs: stimulation and learning)
6. I can't stand my math teacher (no feelings, need: unknown)

7. I feel frustrated and sad. (possible needs: friendship, stimulation, competence)
8. I don't feel like go to sleep. (no feelings, need: unknown)


9. I'm excited. (possible need fulfilled: play)
10. I want to go to the park. (no feelings, need: unknown) Note: Going to the park is not a need. Play is a need. Going to the park is a strategy to get that need meet. The person just as well may want to go to the park to meet other needs: friendship, exercise, etc... This is why it is so important to identify the feelings so you can make a more accurate guess at what need(s) are motivating the persons behavior.


Possible Action Step: Start asking how you or your child is feeling. If they don't or can't answer guess for them and see if they say you are on track. If you like see if you can guess what need maybe behind the feelings you find out.


Watch for part 2 next week.

====================================================
Not a Family Martial Arts Student Yet?

Kickboxing Class in Aurora

Kickboxing Class in Bainbridge

MMA Training in Twinsburg OH

MMA Classes in CLEVELAND

Kids Karate Classes for Discipline

Class Changes - Observations & Communication

Thanks to all our students and families for all the feedback on some of the changes we have made to our classes and teaching. I feel so grateful because I love helping and teaching. 

I am so excited our students and parents have been adding to classes in ways I'm sure I would not have thought of in a million years. I'm thrilled to start sharing some of the ideas I have been using in classes lately.

First off is something Sensei Bryan shared with me at least two years ago. At that time I felt confused about how it could possibly work or how to use it in classes. It is not the whole teaching that we are using in classes now. Used separately it will likely be less helpful than the whole sequence of ideas. I'm planning on presenting most of what we are doing over the next year.

Here are some examples to give you a clue.

1. I see five pieces of clothes on the floor of your room.

2. What a mess.

3. I heard you raise the volume of your voice.

4. Stop yelling.

5. I see you spelled 7 out of 8 of your spelling words the same way I and your teacher do. Number six is spelled differently than I was taught. (I'm interested, would you tell me how you came up with that way of spelling that word?) I added this additional sentence to highlight how this may produce a different result.

6. Great Job.

7. I completed ten more push ups this week than last week.

8. I'm getting so strong. Or Everyone still can do so much more than me. I'm never going to get in shape.

9. The clock in your room says it is 8:45 AM and the bus has never come later 9:05 AM.

10. You're going to be late again to school. What in the world are doing in bed. Get up.

Here is your last hint. "Just the facts ma'am."

My guess is you have figured out the first step. Make observations much like a scientist.

I find this very helpful in drawing the other person attention to what I would like them to think

about.

Give it a try and let me know your feedback. I am interested to hear if you are by surprised by its effectiveness.

Gratefully,

Sensei

PS Watch out for words like short and long. They are really assessments and not observations in the scientific sense. Try using shorter or longer instead. Example: Bill is shorter that Jim and taller than Paul. Instead of Bill is short.