Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Requests Martial Arts Aurora OH 44202

The Roots of the Tree - Needs & Values
In this Post:

  • Upcoming Events & Updates
  • Instructor's Corner - Requests - How to get what you need. How offer to help others.
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Who is on Facebook? We are on Facebook now and I and Mr. Trojan are touching base weekly to see what's up. If you would like to join us click the link below.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Family-Martial-Arts-Academy/122601835635?ref=ts
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Important News:
  • Graduation - Graduation celebration will be held Saturday April 14th
    • 2-7 12:00 to 1:30 PM
    • 8-12 1:30 to 3:00 PM
    • Adults 3:00 to 4:30 PM
I am so looking forward to seeing what our students want to demo. Anthony just finished his first fire break practice yesterday. He drew about 20 people who watched in amazement. Way to go Anthony! Nick now wants to do an ice break. I pump to see what else everyone is planning on sharing at graduation? See you all there.
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Instructor's Corner
Requests - How to get what you need. How offer to help others.
By Scott Shoen

Now that we know what the other person needs are and have confirmed them with them we can make a request to help. Most of the time this will not be difficult to find out what would help since we know the need. At the same time we can make a request to help or for help and see how the person responds.

Here are some examples:

Requests to Help:

1. Would you like to drive to subway to get something to eat at 12:30? (Need: Food)
2. Would you like to work together on your homework for the next 30 minutes? This way if you would like help with a problem I can show you how I might solve it? (Needs: Competence, Learning)
3. Would you like to take a walk and talk about your situation at work? ((Needs: Competence, Learning, Appreciation, Empathy)
4. Would you like to drink milk or juice for lunch? ((Need: Variety)
5. I am willing to take out the trash. Would that work for you? ((Needs: Support, Safety)

Requests for Help: 

1. Would you be willing to watch me do my homework. Then once I am done show me how you might have answered any of the questions differently. I am guessing this will take about 45 minutes. ((Needs: Competence, Learning, Support, Connection)
2. Would you be willing to babysit my kids this Friday from 5:00 to 11:00 PM ((Needs: Support, Safety of Kids, Space, Autonomy)

3. Would you be up for hanging out this Friday at the movies around 5:00 PM? (Friendship, Play, Excitement, Connection)
4. Would you start your homework at your desk in your room with me when you get home from school?  (Needs & Values: Safety and Learning of your son because you Love him.)
5. Would you pick up all your clothes off the floor and put them in the hamper? (Needs & Values: Safety, Organization, Learning for your child because you Love her.)
In the next post I will be talking about making requests that are clear, positive, and use concrete action language. This way we can reveal what we really want.

I am so grateful to hear our students feedback on these posts either on the blog, Facebook, or YouTube. Thanks for everyone's supports.
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Friday, March 16, 2012

Karate Aurora OH 44202 - Needs & Values

The Roots of the Tree - Needs & Values
In this Post:
  • Upcoming Events & Updates
  • Instructor's Corner - The root of the tree - Needs & Values
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I am excited to share with all our students some additional training videos. I'm hopeful that these will improve your skills. I would love to hear how they are helping you out and what else you would like to see up on our YouTube channel.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Karateisgoodforyou
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Important News:
  • Graduation - Graduation celebration will likely be the second Saturday in April. I am so looking forward to seeing what our student want to share with the rest of the academy. I know Anthony is planning on doing a fire break! What are you planning on sharing at graduation? I looking forward to seeing.
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Instructor's Corner
The root of the tree - Needs & Values
By Scott Shoen

We have talked about "observing with just the facts", and then noticing feelings that point to underlying needs that are either being meet or not.

So lets delve into the idea of needs more completely. Most people use the word need to mean the same thing as want. In this case I am using it to mean a universal need that all people have. For example:

1. I need a piece of chocolate cake. (Possible Universal Needs: food, variety, beauty [in the form of taste])

2. I need to study for the test. (Possible Universal Needs: Friendship, Connection, Emotional Safety, Learning, Competence)

3. I need air. (Air is a Universal Need)

4. I need humor. (Humor is a Universal Need)

Notice that when expressing a need directly there is never a particular action or strategy attached to that need. So if your son asks for the latest video game he is expressing universal needs. Maybe the underlying needs are Friendship, Play, Safety, Learning, Competence, etc. Now you have so many possible ways of helping.

Helping others by meeting their needs usually is experienced as caring or love. The goal of discovering observations, feelings, and needs is to have an opportunity to address the underlying universal needs at the heart of the other person's request. A simpler way of describing this process is Empathy.

When you use empathy to connect with people's observations, feelings, and needs you have a much better chance of offering help that will be welcome and will take care of the other person. Using Empathy and then taking care of people's needs will build connection and trust between you and the other person. When I experience this connection with other people I feel euphoric and deeply grateful. This leads me to being enthusiastic about helping even more.

In the next post I will be talking about making requests. This is how you find out if what you think will help the other person is something they think will help too.

I am so grateful to hear our students feedback on these posts either on the blog or facebook. Thanks for everyone's supports.
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