In this Post:
- Upcoming Events & Updates
- Instructor's Corner - The root of the tree - Needs & Values
I am excited to share with all our students some additional training videos. I'm hopeful that these will improve your skills. I would love to hear how they are helping you out and what else you would like to see up on our YouTube channel.
- Graduation - Graduation celebration will likely be the second Saturday in April. I am so looking forward to seeing what our student want to share with the rest of the academy. I know Anthony is planning on doing a fire break! What are you planning on sharing at graduation? I looking forward to seeing.
The root of the tree - Needs & Values
By Scott Shoen
We have talked about "observing with just the facts", and then noticing feelings that point to underlying needs that are either being meet or not.
So lets delve into the idea of needs more completely. Most people use the word need to mean the same thing as want. In this case I am using it to mean a universal need that all people have. For example:
1. I need a piece of chocolate cake. (Possible Universal Needs: food, variety, beauty [in the form of taste])
2. I need to study for the test. (Possible Universal Needs: Friendship, Connection, Emotional Safety, Learning, Competence)
3. I need air. (Air is a Universal Need)
4. I need humor. (Humor is a Universal Need)
Notice that when expressing a need directly there is never a particular action or strategy attached to that need. So if your son asks for the latest video game he is expressing universal needs. Maybe the underlying needs are Friendship, Play, Safety, Learning, Competence, etc. Now you have so many possible ways of helping.
Helping others by meeting their needs usually is experienced as caring or love. The goal of discovering observations, feelings, and needs is to have an opportunity to address the underlying universal needs at the heart of the other person's request. A simpler way of describing this process is Empathy.
When you use empathy to connect with people's observations, feelings, and needs you have a much better chance of offering help that will be welcome and will take care of the other person. Using Empathy and then taking care of people's needs will build connection and trust between you and the other person. When I experience this connection with other people I feel euphoric and deeply grateful. This leads me to being enthusiastic about helping even more.
In the next post I will be talking about making requests. This is how you find out if what you think will help the other person is something they think will help too.
I am so grateful to hear our students feedback on these posts either on the blog or facebook. Thanks for everyone's supports.
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