In this Post:
- Upcoming Events & Updates
- Instructor's Corner - Feelings? Part 2
I real enjoy hearing from our students and families at the school because I value friendship, sharing martial arts, and hearing from people I really care about. If you would be willing, I would love to hear from you on Facebook or on our blog.
- Congratulations Mr. Trojan - Cory Trojan our assistant instructor will be taking over our adult BBC and leadership classes starting in march. I will be working side by side with him in classes and would like to thank him for all I have learned will having the ability to watch classes as an observer. I am so pleased with the improvements that have come about because of his efforts.
Feelings? Part 2
By Scott Shoen
In our last post we talked about feelings and how to identify them in yourself or your child. Now to why feelings are so useful. They point to underlying needs that are either being meet or not or to
a guess that needs won't be meet or will be meet in the future.
Here are some examples.
1. I don't want to do my homework. What do you want to do? I want to play outside. Are you feeling frustrated when you think about doing your home work because you need to play? (Underlying need: Play)
2. I don't want to do my homework. What do you want to do? I want to play outside. So are you feeling frustrated when you think about doing your home work because you need to play. No. Are you feeling lonely when you think about doing home instead of playing with your friends because you need friendship? (Underlying need: Friendship)
3. I don't want to workout today. Why. I am tried. So you are feeling tried when you think about working out because you need rest? (Underlying need: Rest)
4. I don't want to workout today. Why. I am bored. So you are feeling bored when you think about working out because you need more variety? (Underlying need: Variety)
5. I love math class. Are you feeling happy when you think about math class because you love getting better at things? (Underlying need: Competence)
6. I love math class. Are you feeling excited when you think about math class and your teacher who does lots of different class room exercises about math because you need excitement? (Underlying need: Stimulation)
For me the exciting part of finding the need(s) behind the behavior(s) and feeling(s) is that it opens up so many possible way of meeting that need. This means that when you or your child feel they want some particular strategy (no homework, skipping a workout, eating ice cream, earning a million dollars) their is an underlying need behind that strategy that could be meet in hundreds of ways. This for me makes it so much easier to help your child want to do their homework and it build the relationship between you and your child because their needs are being meet. This also brings up an
important point. Homework meets needs. If you child is not enjoying doing homework then their is some other need that is not meet that is getting in the way of experiencing how homework meets their need for learning.
I would be grateful to hear our students feedback on these posts and how they are helping you and your families either on the blog or facebook. I am so appreciative of everyone's supports.
Watch for next part going deeper into needs and understanding them.
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