Wednesday, February 15, 2012

KIds Karate Aurora OH - Feelings what?

In this Post:
  • Upcoming Events & Updates
  • Instructor's Corner - Feelings? I don't think I have any.
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I real enjoy hearing from our students and families at the school because I value friendship, sharing martial arts, and hearing from people I really care about. If you would be willing, I would love to hear from you on Facebook or on our blog. 

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Family-Martial-Arts-Academy/122601835635
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Important News:
  • Celebrate with Striping - We are celebrating this week the progress students have made in January. I am grateful and excited to see all the progress our students have made. Purple stripes will be put on belts as a reminder of student's progress. You may want to ask yourself or your child what they have improved or learned during the month. Many students say they don't know or nothing. This usually indicates they haven't taken the time to notice their progress or they feel it is so small they don't feel they should be rewarded for it by being praised. This miss the goal of being motivated not by what others say or do in response to what we do, but by what improving fulfills in us. Taking time to note your progress and how it has fulfilled you along with thinking about what you would enjoy improving over the next month or quarter will improve your intrinsic motivation. Doing this in all areas of your life connects you with why you are doing what you are doing and how you can improve. We encourage celebrating stripe testing and not rewarding or punishing yourself or students for what they have accomplished.
  • Congratulations Mr. Trojan - Cory Trojan our assistant instructor has taken a month of adult basic classes. I am feel so proud of Mr. Trojan's accomplishment and deeply appreciate his contribution to the academy, our students, and to my family personally. He also taught a make up class this month and I am excited to hear your feedback on how you enjoyed the class.
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Instructor's Corner

Feelings? I don't think I have any...

By Scott Shoen

I have been training Mr. Trojan on our new teaching model. When we got to the part about using feelings to identify the underlying needs of a student he said, "Feelings? I don't think I have any...". When I hear how most people answer the question "How are you feeling today" , with a simple "good"/"bad", I almost agree with him. I'm grateful to report that after about two weeks of training Mr. Trojan came into instructor training and announced "Sensei, I think I do have feelings". I just noticed them yesterday." This really hit me as I thought about how blind I was to what I and others were feeling, before I grasped this training.


So here are some examples of feelings and needs. I have also included some that look like feelings but which include no information about how the person is feeling.

1. I am feeling really hungry. (possible need: food)
2. I feel like a chocolate bar. (no feelings, need: unknown)

3. I am feeling tired and exhausted. (possible need: rest)
4. I hate all the work I have to do. (no feelings, need: unknown)

5. I am feeling bored. (possible needs: stimulation and learning)
6. I can't stand my math teacher (no feelings, need: unknown)

7. I feel frustrated and sad. (possible needs: friendship, stimulation, competence)
8. I don't feel like go to sleep. (no feelings, need: unknown)


9. I'm excited. (possible need fulfilled: play)
10. I want to go to the park. (no feelings, need: unknown) Note: Going to the park is not a need. Play is a need. Going to the park is a strategy to get that need meet. The person just as well may want to go to the park to meet other needs: friendship, exercise, etc... This is why it is so important to identify the feelings so you can make a more accurate guess at what need(s) are motivating the persons behavior.


Possible Action Step: Start asking how you or your child is feeling. If they don't or can't answer guess for them and see if they say you are on track. If you like see if you can guess what need maybe behind the feelings you find out.


Watch for part 2 next week.
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